That reminds me...we need to get swords
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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