hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Hippo gnu deer
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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