i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You smell like a Billy Joel song
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize