sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
