those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
