Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i came on her dog
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
