it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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