My liver just broke up with me...
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
