I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
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I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
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I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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