she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
