I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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