my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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