Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just leave with hair like that
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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