i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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