who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Im part way to drunk.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
