Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize