as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
