We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
