This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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