i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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