do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
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At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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