Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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