I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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