He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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