So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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