I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
