i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
