It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
