I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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