Having a random hookup so left but love u
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
