Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
