my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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