I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Less talking, more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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