I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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