You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
