dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
