How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
