she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
