a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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