Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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