Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize