best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
