I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
