my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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