i don't like sucking hair
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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