Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
