In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
