I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she peed on how many people?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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