plz talk dirty to me
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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