that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize