the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Another day, another engagement, another cat
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
