Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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