you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
