she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
