I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
