It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
