I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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