craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
