Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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