LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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