Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
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