Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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