The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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