I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
