My brain says no but my pants say off.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
